Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

 Disclaimer: This is not a review of John Gray's bestseller 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus'. But after reading this blog you will realize that this title is indeed very apt, for the situations in this blog prove my point. This is my genuine attempt to write something witty and humorous and in this attempt of mine if you find some of my words vulgar or offensive then readers should take a note that the same is the need of the situation. But still if you are under eighteen then I would insist that Parental Guidance is very much essential :)

When John Gray said, "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus", He had his proven theory behind this and not simply because they have an all together different genitalia. There is indeed something more to it and that’s what is called as The Human Psychology or I would say ‘THE MAN PSYCHOLOGY’ and ‘THE WOMAN PSYCHOLOGY’.

Now let’s see how these psychologies work-

I am sure that all of you watch the NEWS daily. You would ask what’s so novel in it as it’s a part of parcel of your daily routine and you have been watching it since the age you stopped peeing in your pants. So what’s the big deal? But today, let’s watch this NEWS from two different perspectives. The Man Perspective and the Woman Perspective.

And yes, it’s always the Ladies First so let’s watch the NEWS from a Woman’s perspective first.

Imagine a NEWS show is being presented by a Female presenter and few ladies are watching it on the television. All eyes will be glued on the presenter..her attire and what not... So, this is how the discussion goes:

“Look at her saree (well nowadays news readers wear a saree only on auspicious occasions like Diwali and Dassera. Having embraced the so called professional western culture, these ladies now wear a suit. I guess they must be wearing a skirt below but I am not sure as there is a big coffee table in between and only the face and the bust portion are visible).. look at her ornaments. The colour of her attire is so gaudy……” Sometimes they also comment on the presenter’s body-“Yeh thodi moti ho gayi hai-She has put on a few kilos”(No matter how their own bodies look like). My point here is they are least interested in the NEWS being presented and more in the presenter.

Same NEWS when watched by men, they will be engrossed in the issue that is being presented. They will usually discuss the criticality of the issue. They really won’t bother about the presenter’s looks or the attire(Unless the presenter is Sonia Shenoy. Those men who know who Sonia Shenoy is must be blushing now and those who don’t know will definitely ‘Google’ her name the very next moment).

So this is how this works…

Let’s take one more example.

Imagine you are waiting at a bus stop and suddenly you find a girl approaching the bus stop. The girl’s name is ‘Aakruti’ (Yes, you got it right. Aakruti in Marathi indeed means ‘Figure’!) She is a true ‘figure’ wearing some ravishing revealing clothes (Now stop letting your creative imagination cross its limits).

All the male eyes will feast on the ‘scene’ malevolently but hang on, you will suddenly realize that all the other females present nearby are staring at the cynosure with thoughts which are everything but pleasant. Such are the thoughts lingering in their minds –“ Oh, She is such a Show off.. What cheap clothes.. She is just trying to arouse the male libido.. bla…bla…bla…”

Now, you will argue, can a female think such an evil for an another female? Then the answer to your question is YES!

And You will also ask if a Male thinks such an evil for his fellowmen then the answer is a simple NO!

Let’s see a Demo…

Imagine this Aakruti (Yes, the same girl, revealing clothes..36-24-…..) is accompanied by her boyfriend. Still  the women in the vicinity will not be attracted by him. They will mind their own same sex business. And the men, they too will hardly pay any heed to this boyfriend and will continue feasting on the opposite sex. Yes, but they will always have one jealousy not only with this boyfriend but with all the boyfriends in the world and that is..

          “Saale is Chu**ye ko itni achchi ladki kaha se mil gayi???”

So, guys and gals let’s stop this DEMO class here and do tell me your views on it. And finally I will consider my writing as successful if after reading this blog you become minor observers rather than simply being mere observers…

Remembering a Friend, Philosopher and Guide

It was the time when I was still a greenhorn in the house of SIEMENS. It was the time when talking to a client meant a sweating brow, a trembling hand and a fumbling voice. It was when, to my rescue came a 5ft 5’ figure wearing a genuine smile on His face.

Be it a technical skill or managerial, He was undoubtedly the best amongst the lot. His was a confident walk and His feet were still solidly earthed. Everyone was his friend and He was the fiend of all.

My boss used call Him as my ‘Guide’ and He really was. To my every question, He was the answer. My every mail used to be a copy to Him and it became a ritual to take His approval before going ahead with any task. Today, I allege myself to be a loading expert, but there was a time when loading was like a tough task and every document used to go through His experienced eyes before the ‘Submit’ button was clicked.

It happened once that He was out of office and I was to go for a client visit for the first time. During whole of my cab journey, I was all nervous. I decided to give Him a call and He wished me luck. Today when I look behind, a thought lingers in my mind, “Unknowingly, Was I seeking His blessings then”?

Coming to food, He was a true foodie and a connoisseur of good food. I can’t forget when both of us had munched on the Dhoklas and the Gulab Jamuns at one of our colleague’s Birthday treat. Lunch time used to be a recreation time when He used to play pranks on us. When I used to be skeptical about the non vegetarian food being served in canteen (and still I am), His theory was clear, “Don’t take pieces only go for gravy”. During one such lunch session, He had shared with me His personal and professional goals. He seemed very contented with the present and optimistic about the future. But at that time, who had known that fate had something else written in His Life Book.

3rd August 2010, started on a mundane note but that day did not end as it had started. I was again out on a client visit, this time coincidently on His assigned task. On my return, I was preparing to leave at 5.00. It was when, for the first time He discouraged me of leaving at 5.00. I did not know then if He was playing just another prank or was He serious? Had He got any sort of intuition then? Was He preparing me for the tough time which was awaiting us? Because, what happened that night was simply unacceptable. Something that no one had thought in wildest of their dreams. What had happened was a dark nightmare.

Leaving all of us behind, He was gone...

In my 15 months tenure at SIEMENS, I have seen many people leaving the organization in search of better avenues. Their Good Bye mails have always made me sad, but His was an altogether different case. He had made a silent exit in search of an eternal destination.

He was gone, never to come back. For him, the time had stopped and for us, our world.

Next day, the news spread like fire and the morning turned out to be mourning. That very day, I saw the popularity of The Man who loved everyone. 1, 2, 3…50…100s of people gathered to pay the last homage to their beloved Friend. I was one of them, standing in one corner, bewildered with tears in my eyes. And He was right there in the centre, unable to see our tears, unable to hear our prayers, He was just a lifeless body. But there was something familiar in that cold Face. Though lifeless, His face still carried that Divine SMILE. His bid adieu to this world was with a smile on His lips.

Really till His last breathe, He stood true to His name, that name which His parents had most rightly given Him, VIVEKANAND!

Today, one year has passed, life is coming back to normal but somewhere deep inside our hearts, He is still alive and in every walk of our lives we still remember Him as a Friend, Philosopher and Guide.

While writing this, my eyes are filled with tears but somewhere tears don’t roll out, because they also know that VIVEKANAND knew only happiness and He spread nothing but happiness...


MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE...

Kalyug ka Swayamvar

Hindu mythology has a rich tradition of 'Swayamvars'(I don't find any English word closest in meaning and which can express it most appropriately) Be it Queen Sita, who is an epitome of Purity or be it Draupadi, the lady who stood tall behind Five Great men. They all selected their Life Parteners in a Swayamvar.
To go into the technicality of this, Swayamvars used to take place so that the Desrving Brides could select from the most elegible Bachelors (sometimes the men used to be already married but let's not go into that for the time being).

But today's era what they call it as 'Kalyug' has re-introduced the concept of 'Swayamvar' that too on television wherein most abysmal Women (I won't call them Brides) are in puruit of suitable men (who will suit their needs)
'Rakhi ka Swayamvar' was first of it's kind. Rakhi Sawant who is the best example of 'how a woman should not be' was in search of her Mr. Suitable. I think all the 'Vars' (so called contenders) must have been paid heavily by channels because if it is not for money then no man would ever dare to mary Rakhi
!

Then there was also a concept like 'Swayam Vadhu' where in an already divorced silly bloke who is actually good for nothing (To express my feelings more severly, I would say an Amir Baap ki Bighdi hui Aulaad) Rahul Mahajan (who encashed the ocassion of his father's death) was running behind the Girls singing 'Mujhse Shaadi Karogi'
!

I don't no who's idea was it to re-introduce such concept on television but I would really like to know who selects people like Rakhi and Rahul for such events.

After some questionnaire episodes (what is well known in Marathi as 'Kandepohe Karyakram')
The whole event gets transformed into a Wedding Celebration where there is 'Mehendi', there is 'Sangeet' (Thanks to our Hindi movies which have promoted Punjabi Style weddings on such a large scale that irrespective of any community, today we have a 'Balle Balle' in all Weddings). The so called 'Baratis'(Celebreties from both small and big screen who themselves have failed miserably in their own marriages) come to shower their blessings on the cynosure and the three Finalists!

At the end of the day the marriage happens live in front of public.

My question is What is the future of such marriages?

The Rahul-Dimpy wedding was already in controversies for their Fights (Thanks to our alert media, fights behind the closed door also became public).

They say Rakhi Sawant never got married in this show. She only got engaged with that bald fellow (anybody remembers his name?)

Somewhere I had read that the contenders who participate in such shows are actually Struggling actors who definitely get some short term launpad from such shows. For celebrities its nothing but Fame and 'Paisa'
!

We know such shows are full of idiosyncracies. We know they are fake. We know that they are simply not worth it.

But...

But still people watch them and thus the producers get encouraged to come with their n number of seasons

But don't you think these shows are playing with our emotions?
Don't you think these shows are hampering the institution called 'Marriage'?

Think!

Because Marriages are made in Heaven and not on some channel number Seven!

When God stood in front of me

The sun had just set and the darkness was trying to cover the light. It was when the flood lights went on. Darkness went into dark and the light came to life again.

With tousled hair, sweating temple and thirsty throat, I was standing amongst the ocean of people. At times I was clapping, at times shouting and was quite too at times. I was watching all the known faces but still there was something new in my sight. With my naked eyes I was watching all the legends around.

Suddenly my heartbeats increased. Amid those great men, emerged a 5ft 5’ tall figure with curly hair, fair skin and a divine smile. Wherever he went there was aureole of flash light (flash lights of numerous cameras) surrounding him. There was indeed some kind of enlightenment in him which he never showed. But there was respect for him all around. The crowd never stopped chanting his name. For the next four hours he was in front of me, running, jumping and diving with a childlike enthusiasm and I was watching all this with my mouth open. I was watching a picture of the lifetime. A picture which was not only vivid but also serene.

While watching all this, I had hardly realized that an ocean of emotion filled my heart. Tear tried to escape from the corner of my eye. Silently and unknowingly the trembling hand of mine had reached my heart bowing to the greatness of a man who was spreading his charisma all over.

Suddenly I was brought back on earth by the triumphant slogans and cheers, when I actually realized that during all these four hours, it was God Himself who actually stood in front of me…

IPL - Indian Paisa League

They say, ‘Garibi Hatao’

I say, ‘Garibi Hai Kaha Batao’?

Are Bhai India is Rich,

At least on the Cricket Ka Pitch.

IPL-INDIAN PAISA LEAGUE hai Ek Business

Jaha kharida-becha jata hai Players ka Talent

Everywhere Money Pours,

That’s why PUNE 1700 Crores!!!

Neta-Abhineta ya ho koi Cricketer

Sabhi jebe bhar rahe hai because of this Tender

Ek Player ke Piche 5-5 Sponsor,

Dollars me hai, aaj inki Power

But har aane ka hota hai 2 side

Positive side dilata hai use ek Pride

IPL is giving chance to new Boys,

So, mil rahe hai TEAM INDIA ko bahut saare Choice

When Sachin cheers for Malinga’s success,

Sportsmanship ka Spirit bahut saara increases

Itna sab hote hue bhi, the question arises-

When playersswitch teams

Means Unke liye only the Money gleams

When There is PAISA PAISA everywhere

Then Tax bharne ko why they Scare

So, The moral of the story is –

IPL Paisa kamane ka Machine hai

Cricket Ki Duniya ka naya Sachin (GOD) hai!!!

Freedom of Speech

They say that every dog has his own day. But when it comes to politics this phrase has something more to it. I feel here it becomes ‘Every dog has his own day but if the day doesn’t favour you then you are nothing more than a dog’. Something similar happened in case of Maulana Ghulam Mohammed Vastanvi who was elected as vice chancellor of Darul Uloom in Deoband, a leading school of Islamic theology

Hardly, a few days had past when Vastanavi, an MBA graduate had taken the charge as the VC of Darul Uloom and within next couple of days the demand for his resignation roared in many parts of the country.

It so happened that in one of his conference, Vastanavi had backed Narendra Modi and had appreciated the development he has done in the state of Gujarat. This controversial statement of his about the controversial man marked his sudden downfall.

The Muslims were unable to digest the fact that how could Vastanavi, a Muslim himself could stand by a anti Muslim figure like Modi who was instrumental in the 2002 Gujrat Communal riots.

In his defence, Vastanavi is very clear with his stand, according to him Muslims should emerge out of past and move on. What’s wrong in this?

Frankly speaking there is absolutely nothing wrong in his stand and by the way what’s wrong in appreciating one for one’s good deeds. No doubt that Modi role in fuelling the riots, but one can’t deny his role in the development of Gujarat. So whatever Vastanavi had commented about Modi stands perfectly valid.

But the activists protesting against Vastanavi are unable to or rather don’t want to understand this viewpoint of his.

Vastanavi on the other hand never forgets to mention that he was trapped, yes this is also true because in politics you need to be politically correct, what this MBA graduate basically lacked was his ‘political’ oratory skill because of which he said what he believed and not what others wanted him to believe.

Looking at the whole episode, my question is simple, do we really have the right to speech.

As an aftermath of this, Vastanavi who had came to power with a promise to bring a radical change in the community may lose his power itself. In this way one more promising man will fall prey to this dirty politics and one more chapter will close.

Dhobi Ghat

It’s not about any community, It’s not about any profession but it’s about Mumbai, it’s about a place in Mumbai called The Dhobi Ghat.

The story revolves around four people in the city of Mumbai -

Arun, A painter who stays alone and always likes to be alone
Munna, A washerman from the Dhobi Ghat who dreams of becoming an actor
Shy, An Indian Banker settled in America, photography is her hobby and always likes to click natural pictures
Noor, An Housewife who comes from a small village in Uttar Pradesh. She is recently married and settled in Mumbai, who dreams of showing this grad city to her brother one day.

How they meet, what life they live is the story of DHOBI GHAT. But all of them have one thing in common and that’s Mumbai!!!

The film is rightly captioned as ‘MUMBAI DIARIES’ as it truly depicts the incidences happening on the streets of the city. It has everything of Mumbai –
The Crowd, The Ganesh Festival, The Ajanta Ellora, The Marine Drive, The Haji Ali, The Gate Way of India and most importantly The Rain of Mumbai.

Being a 90 minute film, it never loses its grip rather keeps one stuck to one’s seat for the complete duration. Some scenes are really touching especially the one in which Prateik Babbar when asked why did you come to Mumbai from Bihar, Very innocently he says,” Waha Bhuk bahut Lagti thi aur Khana nahi milta tha” Really speaking this is the actual reason why People come to Mumbai from every corner of India. And this motherland feeds everyone alike, never discriminating any one on the grounds of caste, creed or language.

Extremely well written and directed by Kiran Rao. The star cast is very good.
Be its Shai of Monica Dogra or Yasmin of Kriti Malhotra, both are instrumental in their respective roles.

But, the real icing on the cake is Munna played by Prateik Babbar. The boy effectively shows the roots he belongs to rightly inheriting the legacy of acting from his mother Late. Smita Patil herself.

Finally the cherry on the icing, Painter Arun played by the perfectionist Aamir Khan.

It is difficult to say, if this story lackss anything, but still if one has to point out then the duration of just 90 minutes for Bollywood lovers who are habitual of watching a 3 hour movie (sometimes even 3.5 hours) is bit difficult to digest.

Moreover, if you will go for this movie with an expectation of watching romance or action, then sorry this is not your cup of tea. A masala movie lover, after matching this may think that whatever I have written is all Bakwaas.

Once again I am telling you that This is not a commercial cinema.
But I would request, do watch this movie if you want to see something really off beat but still touching.

I am not a film critic but offcourse a film lover and from My side it's 4/5 to Kiran Rao and Aamir Khan for this 'different' project.